She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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