Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
