Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
