Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
