i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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