so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
