chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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