I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
