She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize