Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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