I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
