go do what you do best...puke behind churches
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
