I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no, he came in my armpit
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
