My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
