I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
