that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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