like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
