thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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