3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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