Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
