I feel like abortions should bother me more
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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