my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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