I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm both gender and math confused
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
