just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize