Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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