My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
