when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
