My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
