Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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