Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
