WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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