just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
