She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
