I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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