Betty ford says i'm here all night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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