like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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