the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
