Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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