Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
