Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
