Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
