Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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