Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
