I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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