Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
