i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize