I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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