38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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