Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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