He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
