I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wish my penis had a tongue
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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