If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
