You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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