Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
ugly people sure do ruin things
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
