all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
