I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
