i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
