just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
