glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
