it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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