ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
