why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
