Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
