My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I need water and some morals
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
