Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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