A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
