he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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